Just College
by Ada C. Eliana
Summary: He just didn’t see what the big deal was. It was just college. Pre series, Sam's thoughts on John's ultimatum. Oneshot.


**A/N: I got tired of hearing how Sam had abandoned his family and betrayed them, etc, when he went to college. So I decided to write out a fresh perspective on Sam's decision and how John had turned it into something it wasn't.**

**Disclaimer: **I unfortunately do not own Supernatural. The WB does... oh wait, it's the CW now, I'll never get used to that.

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**Just College**

By: Ada C. Eliana

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He just didn't see what the big deal was. It was just college. It wasn't like he were taking a spaceship to the moon, joining the Peace Corps, or becoming a CIA agent. He was just going to college.

Four years, and then maybe grad school, split up by Thanksgiving, winter break, spring break, and the summer term. Hell, maybe he'd get lucky and get Columbus Day, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, or Good Friday off too.

Just college.

And as Sam sat in his dorm room, listening to his roommate discussing the five-hour drive that lay ahead of him to return home for Christmas, Sam just could not understand why college had been such a brick wall for his father.

The job of hunting was sporadic; road trips across the country when word spread of a poltergeist, or weekend trips to the mountains to take out wendigos and werewolves.

He could do that during break.

He may have expressed disdain for hunting a little emphatically in the past, but it was more the close quarters with his father, Mr. Authority, that bothered him the most. He could enjoy a nice salt and burn as much as the next guy, and whatever his father may have to say about it, he was damn good at 'the family business.' And since they spent their whole lives in such quarters, fraying each other's nerves relentlessly, the distance would probably be good for them.

The fight, the ultimatum that Almighty John Winchester had issued – all of it had been completely ridiculous. John made it sound as if he were betraying his family; leaving them forever.

He was just going to college!

Almost everyone went to college nowadays, and they weren't seen as traitors and runaways. No, most parents encouraged college. It was a way of bettering himself and becoming more acquainted with the ways of the world. Of course only he would be stuck with a father who saw college as something diabolical and unnecessary. He could never be in that class of people who received care packages from home, daily phone calls and inquires from the family; the teens whose parents encouraged them to go away to college and were proud of them for their scholarships and good grades.

Sam had managed a full ride, mostly subsidized by the wonders of Social Security, as he had been a minor when his mother died, and the other grants and scholarships for the excellent grades he had received in the various high schools he attended.

Thank God for that, as he felt guilty accepting financial aid after how creative he had been on his FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid) form when it came to his father's work history and his family's assets. Somehow he thought they would be more suspicious if he wrote 'ghost hunter' as his father's job than whatever it was he had put there.

He took an on-campus job for outside expenses, and how little he used it was reflected in the bare walls on his side of the room.

Basically financially independent and out on his own, Sam finally felt able to breathe.

His father had always been overbearing, and just became worse the more Sam questioned his orders and tried to become more a part of the research process of hunting. When Sam finally decided to go to college he knew it would not be easily accepted, but he also did not anticipate his father's explosive reaction.

John had flipped out, and flat-out prohibited him from going without providing any reasoning at all. When Sam remained adamant about going, John finally declared that he had to choose – his family or college. At the time all Sam saw was fresh air and freedom compared with being slowly suffocated.

So he left.

But he hadn't wanted to _leave_.

Why did it always have to be all or nothing with his father? Why couldn't he go to college and keep his family too? Everyone else could. He hated that John had pushed him into that corner; where he was damned if he did, damned if he didn't.

Far be it for him to want to run his own life a little.

John had completely cut him off from everyone, he couldn't contact any of the hunting crowd – Jim, Caleb, Bobby… it was like a bitter divorce, and John kept the friends. Even Dean, the only big brother he would ever have; his best friend and sole confidant had been forfeited in the ultimatum. It wasn't fair, but nothing about his life thus far had been.

And as much as he missed his brother and father, he couldn't pick up the phone and call them or say that. Winchester men never show weakness, and his father had made it clear that for him college had to be a clean break.

So now he was alone.

Making friends at college wasn't as easy as he thought it would be. Luckily he and his roommate got along well enough. Dave had amassed quite a large crowd of friends, and did not mind Sam tagging along.

He had spent Thanksgiving on campus, and was planning to do the same over winter break; just him and a handful of foreign students. He had already received invitations to Christmas dinner at a couple of professors' houses. It felt weird, such generosity from strangers. He almost wondered if they were setting him up, had some sort of ulterior motive. But after spending his life suspicious of everyone he came across; becoming an adept liar and scamming others, he found it somewhat surprising when he realized that some people were just… good people.

At Thanksgiving he went to his English professor's house, and ate dinner with her adult sons and their wives. There he got a taste of that 'apple pie life' his brother so detested, and he loved it. And though he had been dubious if he could ever have that for himself, his father had effectively shoved him in that direction.

And now he could almost picture his future – bright… happy… _safe._ No vengeful spirits to hunt down, no werewolves clawing him, no putting his life on the line constantly, no more seeing the people he cared most about hurt on a regular basis. No, he could just be normal. No matter how awkward he might feel right now, he could someday be normal. Normal, something most people spent their entire lives bored with, and Sam found that he would sacrifice everything for a stable home and people to love and be loved by.

Dave's voice as his phone conversation wound down pulled Sam out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, mom, I'm heading out Friday… tell Dad he better not touch those Christmas lights until I get home… uh huh, I miss you too… bye." Dave, the roommate, hung up the phone, laughing and shaking his head.

"Dude, you would never believe that she just saw me at Thanksgiving, she's acting like I'm coming back from a war or something," Dave chuckled to Sam.

"Must be nice," Sam said before he could catch himself. He had met Dave's parents when they came down from Oregon to visit. They were a stereotypical loving family, and Sam sometimes wondered if that's what his family would have been like if his mother were still alive. Or what they still could have been if their father had chosen to remain a father and not become a hunter.

Dave nodded, his smile fading a little as he surveyed his roommate. Sam never spoke of his family, and Dave knew that he had stayed over at Thanksgiving. "So you're really staying here over break?" Dave questioned, a blonde eyebrow raised.

"Yep, should be… interesting."

"And boring," Dave added. "Ah well, maybe you can stave off the boredom with that hot French chick," he smiled playfully, and Sam felt a pang in his heart. God Dave reminded him so much of Dean sometimes.

"Yeah maybe," Sam shrugged.

"Well, it's dinner time Sam. We better get to the dining hall and find out if Pete managed to survive his microeconomics final, or if he really did spontaneously combust halfway through," Dave laughed.

"Oh come on, spontaneous combustion is so not possible," Sam joked back as he pulled on his jacket. A vengeful spirit lighting him on fire on the other hand…

"Hey, you never know Sam, anything's possible," Dave smiled knowingly.

Oh if he only knew…

But hey, maybe anything was possible, maybe Sam could break out of the life his father had planned for him and attain his dream of normal.

Or maybe he would crash and burn and end up out on the streets with a bottle of Holy Water and a pistol full of consecrated rounds.

He would never know until he tried, and he could take it slow.

After all it was just college.

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**A/N: I would love to know what you thought.**

**Thanks for reading,**

**Ada C. Eliana**


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